In talking (well, writing,) about my “enlightenment,” I think I would have to explain a whole lot of frustration that came before that. If you are interested in reading through all of that, here it goes!
MY UPBRINGING
I was born in Kathmandu, Nepal, to the first Tenrikyo missionaries sent there by the Church Headquarters. More precisely, my father was sent in 1966, and later married my mother, who joined him in 1969. My two younger sisters and I were raised in the Tenrikyo Nepal Mission Post in much the same way as children in churches are. Morning starts with the service, we would come home for school in time for evening service, and when monthly service came, we were essential players of the instruments.
As do many children growing up in a church, I questioned my faith constantly. First of all, we were practically the only Tenrikyo family that I knew of in the whole country, much less my school. I felt that what my parents were doing was a good thing, but I wished I were not different from my friends who were mostly Christian, Buddhist, or Jewish. It was embarrassing to have friends come spend the night. They would be scared of the drums that would wake them up in the morning, and no one, including my parents, could really explain anything we were doing. Though I practiced the faith, I didn’t know enough of the Teachings to be able to explain it.
I remember getting into an argument with my friend in the 2nd grade regarding whether or not angels existed. Unable to come to an agreement, we decided that we would never argue about religion again.
TRYING TO DIG UP THE ROOT
When it came to whether I was Tenrikyo or not, I don’t think I ever questioned that. There was never a time in my life that I thought I was not a follower of the Tenrikyo faith. But sure, there were times I didn’t pray and there were times I wished I weren’t Tenrikyo. I wanted some kind of proof that this was the “real thing.” I wanted God to answer my prayers or show me some kind of sign that there really was a God. I wanted to know that this religion was not something my parents made up.
I think what kept me from abandoning Tenrikyo was my parents’ absolute piety. Also, my parents often administered the Sazuke, of which, I was a total believer. My mother also encouraged me to study the faith through various venues. She cited the Ofudesaki:
I shall let you dig up the root of this world's origin. If you have the strength, do your best to dig it up. (Ofudesaki V:85)
So, putting aside all the other stuff that I didn’t understand, I decided that I would just continue to believe, regardless of whether I understood it or not, and tried to answer my questions as I went.
ENLIGHTENMENT CAN OCCUR IN SEVERAL STAGES
In my last year in Tenri High School, I was thinking of studying Biotechnology in college. My parents wanted me to go to Tenri University and study religion. My mother told me that she regretted not having had the opportunity to study Tenrikyo theology more deeply (she was a Chinese major at Tenri U). It would have helped her greatly in her missionary work.
I felt like a rail was laid in front of me and I had no choice but to trod down that road. Eventually, I would become an interpreter for Church Headquarters, just like Lois Uchida. That seemed to be my father’s dream. That didn’t seem like a bad idea, but I wanted to follow my heart and do what I pleased for the time being. I wasn’t ready to be completely immersed in Tenrikyo.
That summer, I visited my parents in Nepal for a few weeks. I went wherever my parents would take me and did whatever they did. One of which was to dance the 12 Songs of the Teodori. In so doing, I came across the following verse:
I never compel you to go forth,
Until you determine your own minds.
(Songs for the Service IX:6)
I was shaking and almost in tears as I sang this song and danced to it. I felt like God knew exactly how I felt, and was letting me know that it was OK.
MISUNDERSTANDING CLEARED
One of the misunderstandings that I had that was clouding my feelings toward our faith, was the question of the Memorial Shrine. When I belonged to SATOM (Students Association for Tenrikyo Overseas Mission) in my days in Tenri University, Rev. Ichise of Hawaii came to talk to our group. We were told to write questions for him before hand, which he would address after his talk. I asked, “Why do we pray to the Memorial Shrine?” To this, he answered, “We don’t. We offer our respects.” He sounded cold and blunt, and rather disgusted at this immature question, but I didn’t mind at all. He had answered a question that had been bugging me for a long time – ever since I had to explain to my Christian friends who came over to my house, what the three shrines stood for. Because of my lack of knowledge, I think I said that they were three different gods, at which time, my friends said something like, “There is only one God, and therefore this is not a real religion.”
ASK QUESTIONS TO CLEAR UP YOUR DOUBTS
I think it’s very, very important to ask questions about Tenrikyo if one has any. I find that quite often, people who say they don’t like Tenrikyo don't know enough about it. Or, they think they know, but actually have a lot of misunderstandings. Also, the more one is able to do the service, the more one has experienced the miracle of the Sazuke, the more likely they are to have a positive view of Tenrikyo. These are some of the things I found out through a survey I took, in order to write my graduation thesis for the Religious Department at Tenri University.
HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS DO I HAVE TO READ?!
Well, these are some of the stages I went through before I experienced the big bang. The bang that woke me up. The experience that made my faith unshakable. Are you ready?
MY ENLIGHTENMENT
For about a year prior to the year 2000, I had been asking myself and Oyasama everyday, “When am I going to get married? Why is my youngest sister already married and I’m not? What is wrong with me?!” I was tired of being single at age 30, but my parents didn’t seem to like any of the guys that I had dated. They were looking for a person with whom I could devote myself to Tenrikyo, and better yet, overseas where I could use my language skills to the fullest.
I went on a few dates with this guy whom I thought my parents would like. In my prayer to Oyasama one day I said, “Though this is the first time I am actually verbalizing this, I have always known that I would spend the rest of my life for the Path and especially in the Overseas Mission. I am going to ask this guy where this relationship is going, and if he is at all interested, I am willing to spend the rest of my life with him to serve You. If he isn’t interested, I will marry whomever my parents or anyone introduces to me so long as I can serve You to the best of my ability.” – I was taking a big gamble.
The guy’s answer was, “I’m sorry.” Feeling like a total loser, I cried for three nights. On the third day, I received a phone call from Rev. Akio Inoue asking me to come to his office. After talking about acid rain and so on for a while, he said, “Do you know Marlon Okazaki?” “Yes (he’s one of the coolest young and gungho head ministers in America. He’s also one of the oldest bachelors in America. Hee hee!).” He then said, “Well, you are not to communicate with him by phone, email, or otherwise. This is a serious matter that involves both families.”
I was shocked. It was only then that I realize that Oyasama had shown me a clear answer to the pledge that I had made three days ago. The guy said, “No,” and three days later, someone was introducing me to a prospective suitor!! It was unbelievable.
Things went very smoothly after that. Both parents were happy, our friends and co-workers were happy. Up until then, it seemed as though I had always been swimming upstream in a cold river; so much resistance around me, trying to wash me away. Then, suddenly the current changed, and it seemed as though we were being swept away by a warm flow that carried us in the direction that we wanted to go to; happiness and joy.
Once I unclenched my hands and gave God what I had – sincerity, God showed me the way.
This is the story of my amazing and joyful enlightenment. This is why I have no doubt that Oyasama is always listening to us; that God is there, always looking over us with warm loving care.
THIS IS THE REST OF THE STORY,
JUST TO MAKE IT INTERESTING…
I scrambled to try and remember what kind of person he was. I had played tennis with him and a few others when I made a brief visit to LA in May ’96. Later that year, he came to Jiba for a translation conference, and I ran errands for him making copies and stepped on his back when he got stressed out. Whenever Marlon returned to Jiba, he would bring a bag of pistachios and leave it in our English Translation room. Even if we didn’t see him, we’d know he had been there.
A month went by, and though I did email one of his sisters, I kept my word about not communicating with him personally. July 24, 2000 was the date we were to meet officially at Rev. Inoue’s home. I was nervous about our meeting and what it would feel like, going from acquaintances to possibly husband and wife. He came in with his trademark blue happi and a great smile, greeting me with a friendly, “Hi, Hiroko.” That was the moment I fell in love with the man who had been my sister’s friend’s brother, and the author of “The Otefuri Guide” — the “ pistachio man.”
The next time I met him was in October of that year, when we got engaged, and in January of the next year, we were married. The total number of days that we were together before we got married was about 30. Basically, we got married without knowing much about each other. I’m not really sure how Marlon was able to come to the decision, but I was just so dumbstruck that Oyasama had shown me the way, that I was absolutely sure about marrying him.
People are brought together by causality, and with husband and wife, this seems to be especially strong. After we got married and I had a chance to get to know Marlon and his family in more depth, it just made so much sense that we married each other. I am truly blessed to have experienced such joy through this marriage.
MY THOUGHTS ON ENGLIGHTENMENT
Throughout my life, I had been asking God for some kind of sign that would tell me God was really there, “Hit me with lightening! Make me fall down these stairs! Whatever it takes, show me that You are there!”
It seems that many in our faith have been drawn to the Path through a cure from illness. They had an opportunity to witness God’s workings, and it was especially meaningful to them because they were healed from something that was really tormenting them.
As in my case, however, God’s message doesn’t always have to be painful. God wishes for our happiness; that we live the Joyous Life. If we but ask and keep our eyes and hearts open, we can see God’s message in anything. It could be a breeze rustling in the trees or a butterfly taking flight during a young man’s funeral. It’s a matter of who witnesses these events and what significance it has for them.
NOW IT’S YOUR TURN
OK, now that I’ve finished writing my BOOK *yikes!*
…it’s your turn to share your story.
